Wednesday, January 30, 2013 - Your temptation now is to follow the vision of your most idealistic future, even if it's totally unrealistic. However, you must make some changes in your plans as your needs evolve with the shifting tides. But it doesn't make sense to alter too much at once since you cannot afford to destabilize your life. Start making small yet meaningful adjustments so that you can reach your dreams.
It was right after my crew left and I got this call and really wanting to get more footage in and hearing this was someone I always wanted to work with calling me, I was like Hell Yeah! So Here's a Sneak Peak of Whats To Cum........ The GUUD N Clean View....
And Then There's The Bad and What SaXXX's a Pro At... Being Oh So Fucking Classy! But Very NASTY!
View
Much more from SaXXX That Crazy Chick, But Dam she make this shit look good!
For a many years I hid my girls from the public view, well at least until they got old enough to let me know the whats, if, and buts of it all. I also was always concerned about and with my many crazy stalkers and foolish people out here in the world, so I tried very hard at protecting them from everything including who I am and what I became and how I took care of them for so many years! I knew first hand just how people can be and I felt that others would be judgemental of them because of me. I thought way ahead of others and spent my all at giving them a home away from all that the old timers taughted me with like, "Give your life to God!" "oh you going to cause your babies to be fast!" You all know the ones? That old ass crew from back in the bible thumping days, when everything you do and or did was like God gonna Get You and "you are going to hell!
Me myself was so shattered by the very family and people around me, I had lost my self esteem to be and become anything in life, cause of this way of thinking. I felt trapped in a small ass place where my mom had somehow found her way to, and seemed to not want to leave. Having to be ridiculed by all these old bammer type people, The very people that preached all day long and then partied, sexed there cusins, and dranged and did drugs. But loved the larwd and with every breath told me I was to fast and grown, just because.
Peope at a very young age I learn to dance, sing, and I was a very cute kid, I was always trying to be to be a star and or something other then, what I saw around me. I went through alot, alot of my own race put downs, child hood abuse, and yes it seem's very many of our mothers didn't keep a good eye on the very people they let into there lives and or around there kids and so I was brutally raped at 6 years of age. And all any little girl wants is to be a little girl, safe in the care of her mother and father and or those that surrounds her. So people I had to learn to survive early on my own cause no one else was going to be there for me, not even my mom when things really got bad, she just up and leave with what ever man, and or drug, blamming stress and that I was unmanagable. When really she just did not want to face the fact that she had to care for her kids Period! So I was left most of the time to myself, to the wolves in sheeps clothing, to those old time religoues crazies, to the pointing fingers at the little skinny wild kid, that had noone that would care and love her, but instead beat and verbally abuse me everytime they got a chance.
Boy have I dygressed! Whew! But this is all said to set up this......... I MADE IT THROUGH EVER DAY DETERMINED TO MAKE A LIFE FOR MYSELF IN WHATEVER WAY I HAD LEFT! and I Kept at it, and Maybe it's not what some people would say is a GOOD life, But it is a Life and It's Mine and I Made Provision for My Babies as I SURVIVED IT ALL! Regardless of any of what I went through and what the fuck any of them and or you right now may say!
I Thank GOD for giving me the strenght to ENDURE All the shit I been through and I have always stayed a phone call away for my babies. And that they are grow and have there on minds, they have been able to piece together somethings and see just how shit was for me back there and the why's and God Has ReStored Us, Yes God Love even Someone Like Me, and He Understands the what's, and why's of it all, and regardless of any of you that disagrees with me on any level. I am Truly Truly Blessed and so Grateful To Him For All That He Has and Will Always See Me Through. I will never Give Up Loving Myself and My Kids, enough to do Whatever it will Take to be there for them and to Provide for them. I tried always do do Good as far as man see good to be, and sometime thing went one way and then somethings went the other way. But Never Have I given UP! So Thank You Jesus For Loving me Inspite of What The People Say!
And Now..................................................
941 and all those that said she couldn't be anything other then what they imagine her to be in there very small minds, when me as her mom I just kept believing that God and Good would prevail. I just kept grinding and doing what ever a mother could do to be there for her when she finally got enough of those type people and her eyes open to the possibilities that all of us as Beautiful Black People Have! Freedom from OPPRESSION, FROM Our Very OWN People! To Be Free As We Want to be, Not Bond By Old Ass Thoughts and our Superstitious Behavior of our elders and all that dumb ass, shit men feed us that if you do this or that your are a this or a that. Why Do We Put Our Very Own Down?
This is the bigest reason I left those around me that I grew up with, and came north so I could meet blacks that did not think like what I came up around. I had my kids and wanted better for them but did not want to drag them all over the place, so I left them with family thinking they would do right by them, instead they destroyed my kids self esteem by feeding them bull shit like in order to be love by God and Others they had to be modern day slaves to they very own people! WTF! You all know, what I'm saying, and I beat you know some people that are just like what Im talking about. They tell your kids your not good enough and to not grow up and do like you and yet they aren't doing any better, never leaving five mile outside of where they were born or raised, they don't know anything else but what they hear or see on TV, Video's and media. Saying they know it all but yet, I have lived what they turn there tv on to everyday! I have the experiences, I have seen black that are just like the Huckstubles, I know and have seen and lived around Blacks and white and many other races that are upper and lower and all inbetween class of others that are bright, and intelligent lives and ideals and are not bond to that same old idealistic bullshit some of you are!
I say all this cause I am one of the many young ladies that escaped the oppression of my very own, telling me I was ugly, stupid, and that I need to give my life to God, get married and have babies and just settle for that! I am a Survivor of my own people and I have endure all the sufferings, that comes with shit such as what im saying.
Now I have a chance to heal and be there for my kid, she has told me of things she always wanted to do but was to scared because of what others had told her. The Mean and Nasty things , instead of supporting her and helping her to become and do what ever it was her heart desired, they played on her self esteem. Well now she home with her mom, and I will be and have always wanted to be there for her and unlike those that said they loved her and how much of a family they where to her, all the while hurting her, you don't have to try to keep her from me no more, I sat back and waited, just as a lot of males do when it come to there children by some of you crazy ass females. You should never speak wrong of the other parent, weather you like them or not that is there mom or dad. I am the mother of these girls and this one has found her way through all the lies and madness, all those that tried to tell her she would be better off with out me, because of who I am and didn't even know me and where I was from and or why I do what I do. Guess What? God still made away and now she see im not that bad at all.
I don't push her to do anything she don't want, but I just support and be there for her. So with no further ado.......... Here is my daughter my first born my 27 year old, in her first photo shoot with her mom! Enjoy and No She is Not a adult entertainer, but if that's what she chooses then she is grown and it will be by her own choice, not mine.........
For a many years I hid my girls from the public view, well at least until they got old enough to let me know the whats, if, and buts of it all. I also was always concerned about and with my many crazy stalkers and foolish people out here in the world, so I tried very hard at protecting them from everything including who I am and what I became and how I took care of them for so many years! I knew first hand just how people can be and I felt that others would be judgemental of them because of me. I thought way ahead of others and spent my all at giving them a home away from all that the old timers taughted me with like, "Give your life to God!" "oh you going to cause your babies to be fast!" You all know the ones? That old ass crew from back in the bible thumping days, when everything you do and or did was like God gonna Get You and "you are going to hell!
I Thank GOD for giving me the strenght to ENDURE All the shit I been through and I have always stayed a phone call away for my babies. And that they are grow and have there on minds, they have been able to piece together somethings and see just how shit was for me back there and the why's and God Has ReStored Us, Yes God Love even Someone Like Me, and He Understands the what's, and why's of it all, and regardless of any of you that disagrees with me on any level. I am Truly Truly Blessed and so Grateful To Him For All That He Has and Will Always See Me Through. I will never Give Up Loving Myself and My Kids, enough to do Whatever it will Take to be there for them and to Provide for them. I tried always do do Good as far as man see good to be, and sometime thing went one way and then somethings went the other way. But Never Have I given UP! So Thank You Jesus For Loving me Inspite of What The People Say!
This is the bigest reason I left those around me that I grew up with, and came north so I could meet blacks that did not think like what I came up around. I had my kids and wanted better for them but did not want to drag them all over the place, so I left them with family thinking they would do right by them, instead they destroyed my kids self esteem by feeding them bull shit like in order to be love by God and Others they had to be modern day slaves to they very own people! WTF! You all know, what I'm saying, and I beat you know some people that are just like what Im talking about. They tell your kids your not good enough and to not grow up and do like you and yet they aren't doing any better, never leaving five mile outside of where they were born or raised, they don't know anything else but what they hear or see on TV, Video's and media. Saying they know it all but yet, I have lived what they turn there tv on to everyday! I have the experiences, I have seen black that are just like the Huckstubles, I know and have seen and lived around Blacks and white and many other races that are upper and lower and all inbetween class of others that are bright, and intelligent lives and ideals and are not bond to that same old idealistic bullshit some of you are!