if you can understand what I'm saying. It's like I have done so many different thinks in my life time and a lot was
done without me having a family of my own. but now I'm face with having a small close family now, my little grands
mean everything to me, but the fact is that they are not my children, they are my daughters. So I don't have the
responsibilities as maybe I'd like or wish it would be like. I had thought that at one point I would stop all my
adult adventures just so I could be there full time for my daughter and her kids, but as we grow closer, I'm
finding my daughter is doing just fine and that I'm not as needed as I would have like. Nothing bad but just that
even though I did not fully raise my daughter and I saw things in her I thought was going to hinder her at a time,
she has shown me that she has grown out of those things and is well on her way being a very strong, independent
well caring mother and daughter who can definitely hold shit down! So I'm now trying to figure out now "What The
Hell Does" Momma, Grand ma, SaXXX Do now with herself? I'm Free to go, To Find love maybe, to travel, shit to go
get a 9-5 as long as my back holds up ( Gotta get one that has the best benefits, giggle right) Cause the Gov show
ain't trying to give help to anyone anymore, shit why ya'll think SaXXX Hustle Hard , giggle! So I'm on a venture
now I'm trying to find what else I want to do and what would keep my interest, cause I get bored with things
quickly, like when I started doing this little adult stuff it was a fluke, DB found me on a ad site and ask if I'd
be interested in filming and so being just breaking up with my longtime love, I went in Head deep, at first it was
fun and then ..... oh boy the Craziness of it all, the way the guys and companies call and the Jalousies and Drama!
The Gossip, the pimp like mfer out in the industry that try everything in the book to use you for what ever and all
the way up, then get mad at you if you even try to have your own voice in what it is that your hard working ,
pussy, face, name created and or has a part of. Oh my Goodness, boy did I learn a lot and very
good! But I'm not totally dismayed with the industry, cause I had fun and I also learn a lot of good stuff! I want
to do more in the adult industry, but I know definitely with my mental illness and very strong Black Women Power
way of thinking, i have to do it all on my own. People don't understand me, I been through to many things before
all this to bow, to that type chick that's looking adorably in some Nijas eye like a naive baby girl. Seriously me
and my old as pussy been through to many beat down together to be submissive to any man or even women to speak! And
then all that and Muther fuckers not willing to pay and wanting every scene or gig, to be (Free! On the House, Do
it cause we friends? and or cause They did this or that they felt for you , or to help you) I am so Fucking Over
ALL THAT TYPE BULL SHIT! For real! Plus to think, Fucking is not all I do good and shit at least get paid, and
played! So I'm searching myself people that's why you haven't heard or seen anything from me other then my Escort
Stuff. I'm just not sure what to do with myself, giggle! and it's funny because all my life I, since having my three
girls my whole "me against the world thing" was because I had my little baby girls needing momma! And now the Big
girls and no longer need momma as much anymore, and That's such a Blessing Right? So now What does SaXXX do with Her
Cute Self! I mean out side of REBUILDING MY SITES and Things! That site is a whole norther something I'm going to
blog on one day soon, LMFAO! I'm happy for it , but me learning it codes has been a task, giggle! Cause It
Definitely has to be Revamped! I know People! Just SaXXX Has Had so many other things going on
